I’m holding myself back from asking,

I’m holding my breath not to speak,

I’m holding you in an embrace of silence.

I’m rationalizing the color of every whispering thought.

I’m trying not to add meaning to every fleeting touch.

I’m distracting myself by smoking cigarette after cigarette.

I get tired of overthinking scenarios on the stage,

I get tired of biting my tongue not to cry in public,

I get tired of rushing through anxious days.

And I crash.

I cry.

I surrender.

Release overtakes my tummy.

Energy flows like an orgasm through me.

My body restarts as if I took a long nap.

And I move on,

Redefining what home is,

When your fragrance is gone.